What a life.

Peter snapped this photo of Tucker on the weekend.  Apparently while we were bustling around doing weekend to do's, the dog was living the good life.

I'm reminded, once again, why I'd like to return as a well-loved pup in my next life.

Damn cancer.

I remember the first year that Sheldon played soccer.  It was the summer that he had turned 5 and it was our first foray out into community sports and meeting a whole whack of new kids from all the schools in town.  We had only lived here for a year so everything was very new to us.

Within the first couple of weeks I found myself naturally pulled toward one of the other moms on the team.  Her daughter played on Sheldon's team and her younger daughter was the same age as Juliana.  We traded stories of new babies and older siblings while our girls sat on the blanket or tried to crawl onto the field.

Over the years I have run into her - in the coffeeshop, at the library, in a yoga class or the grocery store.

I had heard last year that she was battling cancer so when I saw her recently dropping her daughter off at dance - the same hip hop class as Juliana's - I was happy to see her looking so well.  She was back to her full head of hair and a sparkle in her eye.  We exchanged hurried hello's and then were off in our separate directions to finish with the business of our days.

This afternoon, I heard that she had lost her fight with cancer.

I can't help but be overwhelmed with sadness - for her husband and for for her three girls.

It's a cruel reminder to me that tragedy knows no bounds.

Today, life doesn't feel fair.  

 

It's only funny until someone loses an eye.

Anyone who has kids has seen this moment a thousand times.  It's the one where the kids go from laughing and playing around together to screaming at each other.

I was just lucky enough to catch it on camera:

The Best Day.

Juliana just finished a project in her music class.  The students had to choose a song - any song - that represents themselves and their outlook on life.  Then they have to present it to the class along with 3 reasons why they chose that song.  


Juliana gave it quite a bit of thought and one night while I was cuddling her before bed she told me that she thought she would choose Taylor Swift's song called "The Best Day".  She said that Taylor Swift wrote the song about her and her mother and since we've had lots of our own 'best days' too then the song was kind of like the two of us.  

Later that night, I put on her CD so that Peter and I could listen to her choice and, no surprise, the song moved me to tears.

Tonight she was telling us about her presentation to the class and Peter asked her if she wanted to come and sing along while he played it on the guitar.  She definitely wanted him to play it but was a little bit hesitant to sing.  Juliana does NOT sing in public.

I heard him start to play and then remarkably she sang along. After the first time she asked if they could do it again and he could sing harmony. And then she let me join them both! 

It was one of those very special little moments that made us smile.  

As parents we all have moments, too many of them, where we question ourselves and hope against hope that, in the end, we will raise our kids well.  This project was a quiet reminder to me that although my little girl is growing up, I think that we're going to be okay.

I'm five years old, it's getting cold, I've got my big coat on
I hear your laugh and look up smiling at you, I run and run
Past the pumpkin patch and the tractor rides, look now, the sky is gold
I hug your legs and fall asleep on the way home

I don't know why all the trees change in the fall
But I know you're not scared of anything at all
Don't know if Snow White's house is near or far away
But I know I had the best day with you today

I'm thirteen now and don't know how my friends could be so mean
I come home crying and you hold me tight and grab the keys
And we drive and drive until we found a town far enough away
And we talk and window shop 'til I've forgotten all their names

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today

I have an excellent father, his strength is making me stronger
God smiles on my little brother, inside and out, he's better than I am
I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run
And I had the best days with you

There is a video I found from back when I was three
You set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me
It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs
And Daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world

And now I know why the all the trees change in the fall
I know you were on my side even when I was wrong
And I love you for giving me your eyes
For staying back and watching me shine
And I didn't know if you knew, so I'm takin' this chance to say
That I had the best day with you today.

Picture perfect.

Apparently this year Juliana will be celebrating her birthday for weeks.

First there was the early birthday celebration with Grandma and Grandpa when they were here visiting at Halloween.

Then we celebrated on her real birthday.

Yesterday she had her friend birthday party - ten friends over for a scrapbooking party. We started planning over a month ago when she first got the idea.  The first thing that I did, of course, was call my mother - Queen of Scrapbooking Land - to find out which weekend she would be free because there was no way I wanted to do this one on my own. So, with a date chosen, it was up to Grandma and Juliana to come up with what the girls could make.  Juliana settled on creating photo albums (she had made a mini-version when Grandma took her to a scrapbooking workshop in the summer) so over Thanksgiving weekend they picked out the paper and some embellishments and then Grandma made them into 11 individual kits for the girls.  

But what to do about the photos?  In a moment of weakness, I agreed to a pre-party which we held last Monday afterschool. It's an understatement to say that the girls had a blast. I provided the sunglasses, the boas, a microphone, some music and the photographer (me) and they did all the rest.  

Almost 200 photos later - we came up with lots of stuff like this:

With the kits ready to go, the photos printed and ready to share, the cupcakes made, and Peter on top of the make-your-own-pizza lunch, there was nothing to do but wait for the kids to arrive.  

Well, arrive they did.  The pizzas were a success.  The game of charades that we played while waiting for the pizza to cook was a success.  And the photo albums?  Big time success.  Those girls gathered 'round the 2 tables gluing, sticking, taping, tying, giggling and sharing for over an hour.  My mom and I were there to help out when they needed it but at one point we looked at each other in disbelief because it was so darned quiet.  Eleven girls at a birthday party and you could almost hear a pin drop.  

The time just flew by.....we didn't need to break out the karaoke machine and we barely had time to fit a round of Happy Birthday in before the parents began to arrive at the door.

This is the birthday that just keeps on giving.  But any excuse for cake, though, right?

Good sports.

We've just gotten back from an afternoon spent with a fantastic bunch of 13 and 14 year old boys.

Sheldon's houseleague hockey team went downtown this afternoon to help out Shoot for the Cure - a hockey based charity which seeks to raise awareness about spinal cord injuries and neurotrauma - at the Hockey Hall of Fame Legends Game.

Ten kids from Sheldon's team plus some of their siblings helped out this great cause.  Their job was to stand at each entrance and hand out thundersticks to the fans as they arrived at the game.  It was hectic but they seemed to have a lot of fun hanging out together and working as a team to get their job done.

With the thundersticks all given away (well, maybe we kept one or two to use ourselves....) we all took our seats and enjoyed the fun on the ice.

We saw Glenn Anderson skate with fire literally powering his skates. We saw most of the old-timers skating without helmets.  We saw girl power in the form of Angela James and Cammie Granato, the newest players to be inducted into the Hall of Fame.

I have to admit that I was a little skeptical at first.  How would these boys, most of whom I don't know, behave out in the general public, with a job to get done?  I shouldn't have been worried for even a second. They were a great group of kids - hardworkers all of them - who were respectful, kind, and gave me a few laughs.

I must admit that before I had a teenage boy I was a little of intimidated by them.  I was raised in a family of girls so this is all uncharted territory for me.  But today gave me yet another reason to believe that our young boys are on a good path and will continue to make us proud.

One final thing:  Peter has been dreaming of the day when his daughter will jump over the boards and fly down the ice, curly hair peaking out from beneath her helmet, the puck in front of her, on her way to score.  The only problem is that Juliana won't consider playing hockey.  Not even for a second.  So, for now, this might be the closest to playing hockey that Little Miss J gets - wearing her brother's old jersey. Enjoy it while you can, honey.

Time flies.

(November 2004)

It feels like just yesterday that I was arriving at the hospital - earlier than expected - with a hastily packed diaper bag sans diapers.

It feels like just yesterday that I was nursing my baby listening to her little slurp, her eyes open watching me, her little hand grabbing at the neck of my shirt.

It feels like just yesterday that my no-neck beauty was wearing her little shirt that had "Angel" bedazzled across the front of it and such cute detailing around the neck that, unfortunately, no one could see.

It feels like just yesterday that we had to change to the mini kibble for the dog because someone kept shoving it in her cheeks, squirreling it away like she was heading for hibernation, and we were afraid she would choke on the big kibble.

It feels like just yesterday that she called her brother "Guy" because Sheldon was too hard to say.

It feels like just yesterday that I would watch my girl hang from the countertops.

It feels like just yesterday that she had her first "little girl cat fight" in the wagon with her best friend - arms flailing at each other, screaming, tears, then instant sleep.

It feels like just yesterday that she walked comfortably into her JK classroom where she then refused to speak for 9 months.

Yet this morning, I woke up to a cuddle from my now 9 year old.

She's funny.  She's beautiful.  She's stubborn.  She's emotional.  She's dramatic.  She's kind.  She's brave.  She's a big pain in the butt to her brother but I guarantee he wouldn't trade her for the world.

Of all the little girls, in all of the world, we're blessed to call her ours.

Happy birthday Juliana!

xoxoxo

No tricks. Just treats.

It was a Halloween of transition.

Sheldon stayed in.  He couldn't decide on a costume, his trick or treating partner got the flu, and then he felt crappy so he helped dish out the candy.  (Well, actually, he sat at the kitchen table waiting for his sister to get back so that he could see what he could scoop from her bag.)  At thirteen, he was feeling a little bummed about the whole thing because he figured this was his last trick or treating year anyway.  Poor guy.

Juliana, on the other hand, went all out.  Months ago she decided to be a flamenco dancer - wearing one of my old dance costumes - and last night she couldn't get her mascara on fast enough.

She did some posing outside.....

....and then she left with her aging rock star father to hit the streets.

The afternoon flurries gave way to an awfully chilly night for the kids but they didn't seem to notice.  I  enjoyed my front porch seat (with scarf, gloves and a glass of red wine) and loved seeing all the neighbourhood kids in their costumes.  My favourite might have been the six week old monkey baby all snuggled into his mommy's chest.  Grandma and Grandpa were here for a weekend visit and I think that they enjoyed all the excitement after many quiet years at their house.  All in all, a fun night for just about everyone.  

How was your Hallowe'en?