Joy and Pride

Last Monday, Sheldon remembered to mention that his Performing Musician's class at school was playing in "some music thing" on Wednesday night at the high school.

Well that "music thing" was the Music Department's Spring Concert and there were four groups from his class that opened the show.  Make no mistake, these were not your average band songs.  They played Superstition, Crazy Train, and Sunshine of Your Love.  Sheldon's group played War Pigs.  I wish I could say that I was singing along but I was never a Black Sabbath fan so that it was a little out of my box.  But what I did do was watch my drummer do his thing.  And he did.

There are no photos to include - I didn't take any - but I won't forget that moment anytime soon.

I have a typical teenager living in my midst.  A moody teenager that rarely blesses me with more than a grin.  But that night, with his musical friends surrounding him, he was in his element.  And that smile.  Oh, that smile.  It was a smile of pure joy.  He was doing something he loved and enjoying every minute of it.  And if you don't mind me saying - he was amazing!  Sheldon just oozes talent and I couldn't be prouder watching him.

That boy can make my heart sing.  I hope he always knows that.

Sisters.

Our mothers knew each other before we did.  Our sisters, who are the same age, knew each other before we did.  Peter and I were the last to this family party.

Linda and I have known each other for years.  We've always lived in different (mostly far-away) cities but we've managed to share some family holidays together and then, recently, spent time together celebrating her Mom and Dad's 50th wedding anniversary.  But in all these years, we've never actually spent much time together - just the two of us.  Until this Christmas.

I was so excited when I heard that she was coming.  It was going to be so great for her parents to be surprised to see her, I knew that Peter would treasure the time that he got to spend with her, plus she's the super-cool-funny-aunt-that-laughs-at-everything-my-kids-say so I knew that they would love seeing her.  But I hadn't really given any thought to how her visit would affect me.

I was weary leading up to Christmas.  I had a lot going on and was feeling overwhelmed by some of the things happening around me.  Linda arrived and my stresses melted away.  After everyone else had gone to bed, we would sit up talking - sharing old and new stories of family and of our very different lives.  She was my late night laughing partner and she brought such a special joy to the couple of days that she spent with us.  

It wasn't until after she left that I realized that in all the years we'd known each other, I'd never really spent time with her and, now that I have, I can't wait to do it some more.

Looking Back: Christmas

With the arrival of an ice storm right before Christmas this year, we counted ourselves amoung the lucky ones that were blessed with the beauty of the ice storm and not the inconvenience of losing our hydro over Christmas.  In fact we were fortunate that Peter's Mom and Dad were able to drive the five hours to our place on clear roads and arrive safely to spend a few days with us before they headed south for Florida.

This year we were joined by Peter's sister, Linda, who decided only a few weeks earlier to fly from Belize and spend the holidays with us.  And, for fun, Peter and Linda decided not to tell their parents she was coming.  Such a great a surprise!  When she walked through the door, their looks of shock, disbelief, and then happiness was such a gift to witness.  We could have called Christmas off in that moment and we all would have been okay with it.

But we couldn't call it off with Santa waiting.  After all, he had some last minute tips for Peter.

We missed Sheldon this year at our Christmas Eve skate (he had to work) but the rest of us had a blast!

It was a pretty low key year for gifts but the big surprises were for Juliana and Peter.

Juliana had been asking for her own cell phone for months. She even wrote us a two page letter on why she needed it and how she would raise money to help pay for a plan.  Apparently it was quite compelling because she actually made me re-think the idea and, in the end, that's what we got for her.  I love this photo of the moment she took it out of the box partly because her under-stated smile is Juliana trying really hard to contain her excitement, and partly because her under-stated smile is identical to my Dad's smile when he felt the same way.

This year I've been watching Peter embrace his music and I decided to surprise, nay, shock him with his own iPad to load up on song tabs for his gigs, and to take on the road to amuse him.  I dare say that shocked thing worked!

And for the dogs who never get any attention from anyone, Linda gave them so much love that they mourned for days after she left.

 
Our Christmas this year:  beautiful snow, family, skating, constant noshing, and endless laughter. So many memories made.

Looking Back: December

It's been a few false starts during this long, cold winter but I think I'm ready for a return.  I'm starting to notice an itch to get back to the business of documenting our days.  But before I can go forward, I need to go backward - just to fill the black blog hole of December to March because there was some light in those days that shouldn't be forgotten.

Like when Juliana and her service group dressed up as Minions for their Despicable Me float in the Santa Claus parade.

Or when Juliana got to reunite with her cousins Lucy and Simon when the two of us flew out west to visit.

In early December, Peter participated in an Open Mic night with his friends Darrin, Amy, and Jeff.   Parental Discretion also spent many Wednesday nights rehearsing in our basement for their party at the Legion a few days later.  (I know, I know.  Our lights are burned out.  After I took this, I went straight to Ikea to replace our stars!)

I felt like the Christmas season had finally arrived the night that we went with Mom to a local Christmas show filled with great music.

Finally, only days before Christmas, we finally found time to go and pick out our tree.

Um, Juliana?  Watch out….oh, never mind!

This is the closest that I can get to a photo with my boy.

Chocolate making:  Sheldon's friend joined Juliana and I for our girl's afternoon.

Apparently Lucy is ready for Christmas.

Next up:  celebrating with family.

Cleaning up.

The kids were responsible for getting themselves off to school this morning.

When I came home, mid-morning, this was what I found on my kitchen counter:

Um, what does Sheldon's note mean?

Does he think that I pick and choose which dirty dishes that I'm going to clean in a day?  "Don't think we'll be using bowls in the next couple of days so I'll leave that one with the leftover cereal in it and clean it on the weekend?"

Will he be arriving home after school with an urgent need to travel with a hot drink?

I think I'll go have a cup of coffee and let those breakfast dishes wait for the after school snack crowd.  They can unload and load the dishwasher. Me?  I'm taking my coffee, in my clean cup, to go.

Truth.

Raising a teenager is filling my life with beautiful moments.  Moments that are rewarding and give me hope for the future.  They are, without a doubt, some of the funniest, the warmest, the most loving moments that I could hope to share with my son.

But these are moments.  Moments that are cushioned all around with frustration, raised voices, mistrust, miscommunication, tears, anger, lying, slammed doors, loneliness, anxiety, broken plans, and silence.

As parents, we give.  We give and give.  And we sometimes get so little in return.  They are unreasonable.  They are ungrateful.  They are mean.

And then, when you least expect it, they plop down on the couch beside you and tell you the funniest thing that happened in math class.  And then they share something really cool that they read on Reddit. Or the ridiculous photo that someone took of the Tech Design teacher.

It's a roller coaster, to say the least.  He moves from one extreme to the other with lightening speed and it's impossible to keep up.  I wake up every night and then lie awake wondering what will be next.  Worrying that he's not studying, that he's not eating, that he's not sleeping, that he's not happy.   I'm exhausted all the time.  I struggle to get motivated to get things done - the important stuff like groceries, laundry, carpooling. Yoga is the only thing keeping me sane.  Lots and lots of yoga.  Otherwise, I haven't picked up my camera and I haven't written.  I just can't.

I know that this is normal.  I know that he's a great kid that stays out of trouble.  I know that being a teenager these days is far from easy.  I know that there are parents everywhere that are having the same hushed conversations with each other.  I know that he really doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.  I know that he's got a teenage boy's brain and is incapable of seeing a world outside of his own.  I know.

For now, I'm trying to find some balance.  I'm trying to bask in the love when I get it and then steel myself for the fall to come.  I put on my protective shield and try not to take it personally. It's the best I can do until the love returns.

I usually shy away from sharing our warts, instead saving this space to share the good parts of our family.  But this is not dirty laundry.  This is part of our family right now.  And, someday, we will wake up and realize that our beautiful boy has returned to us on a full-time basis, and that we made it through to the light at the end of the tunnel.

And I will start sleeping again.

Truth.

Date Weekend.

Last year was the first time in a long time that Peter and I took a night away to celebrate our anniversary.  We had so much fun that we decided to do it again this year.

We picked a new little town and headed north for a night.  The weather was chilly but beautifully sunny and we spent two days poking around and eating.

Seriously.

We started with a late breakfast in our favourite coffeeshop in town.  Then when we arrived at our hotel a few hours later we started looking for a lunch spot.  After lunch we decided we needed coffee.  Then we needed a sweet treat to go with it.  And then when the restaurant that was recommended for dinner turned out to be closed, we ordered take out chinese food and took it back to our hotel.

We laughed, we ate, we slept, we ate, we drank coffee, we ate, and we took selfies.  Lots of them.  Just for fun.

Oh, and we silly Facetimed with Juliana.  There is never really a vacation from Juliana.  :)

We did manage to find the neatest music shop with all these nooks and crannies filled with vinyl, old radios, and all kinds of old instruments.

Peter even found the drum set he had as a kid.

Another great weekend together?  I think this has now become a yearly must.  Right, Peter?

Happy belated anniversary.

xo