Winning - at what cost?

Let me start off by saying that after years in recreational activities, both with my kids and on my own, I am eternally grateful for the people that volunteer at all levels - to organize, to coach, and to bring snacks.  I'm all about being grateful to those who pitch in.

For a number of reasons, I don't coach my kids.  Not the least of which is that they don't respond well to me on their side of the field.  That leaves me as one of the parents who turns up every week to cheer on the kids.

We should feel privileged that our children are still excited about us coming out, game after game, to watch them play.  Every week, they practice, play, and bond with their teammates - each member bringing something different to the group.  In houseleague, it's always a special bunch of kids with a wide range of talents.  You've got some with remarkable skill, you've got some with astounding tenacity, you've got some with incredible empathy, you've got some with fantastic humour, and, unquestionably, every kid that's out there has heart.  They are there because it's how they want to spend their time.

The beauty of houseleague is that it is all about the spirit of the game.  And everyone gets a chance to play.

So when your season is winding down, and the team that has been playing together for months is heading into the playoffs, nothing should change.  Not expectations, not positions, and certainly not playing time.

The danger in getting caught up in playing to win is that equal playing time goes out the window.  And don't think for a second that those kids that are now spending their time warming the bench don't notice.  Those are the kids that are 'on the bubble' about whether to return next year.  Let them finish off this season on a high note.  Whether it's a win or not, let them know that they have contributed as much as everyone else has.  Let the team enjoy a season of playing, having fun, and learning good sportsmanship on and off the field.  Let them all want to return to do it again next year.

It is our job to model fairness.  It's our job to make sure that our kids know that trying their best, making new friends, being generous with praise, improving their skills, and showing respect for both their own team and the others is what is important.  Winning is just a bonus.

Not everyone can win.  But, for darn sure, everyone should have fun trying.